Friday, October 23, 2009

house of ill repute

well hello! welcome to the cougar den. at least that's what i call it...i've heard neighbors call it the whore house, but i pay them no mind...come in come in...let me get you a cocktail..
sit down here on my circular sofa while i go pour the drinks...warm your toes by the fire will you? don't mind my shoes and ombre robe..i was just getting comfortable.
i'm back..did you notice your reflection in the shiny, copper pendant light? that's on purpose...ha ha haaaaaaa ha haaaaa!!!
we can stay on the circular sofa or we can go in here and watch something on my flatscreen? do you like 70's porn? i do.

sometimes i'll sit here in the nude and tickle the ivories..

if you need to tinkle here's the bathroom. does the portrait turn you on?


here's the bedroom. i have a circular sofa in here too and a flatscreen. i love to come in here and watch jake gyllenhaal movies all day long. look! one's playing right now! do you wanna put on my high school band uniform?


what? my initials? CG? oh..haa...no...that stands for Cou-Gar. you can spend the night if you want. twilight is on on demand in HD.

in the morning i'll make donuts and coffee....



25 comments:

the sweet life with olives said...

i was snickering til the morning coffee, and now i'm seriously in danger of wetting my pants from uncontrollable laughter! that rocks. also love the couple's photo in the bathroom, i assume that must be you and your hubby. roar.

susieq said...

So, so funny! But I want the backstory. What, where, who, huh?

LindsB said...

I have that last outfit in leopard print- I like to rock it while getting the morning paper.

vicki archer said...

You are hysterical....LOVE it, xv.

Visual Vamp said...

La la la la la la la!
You found my photo album of my old Cosmo Girl house!
Meet ya on the round sofa - winky winky ;-)
xo xo

Visual Vamp said...

And tell Bruno to stop wearing my Cougar breakfast outfit,will ya?
xo xo

Simply Mel said...

You are freakin' awesome my friend, AWESOME!

fromtherightbank.com said...

I'm with susieq - where in the world did you find this??? Who, what, where . . .? And hey, did you notice that the light fixture I posted about today looks just like the one in the first photo? After this, I don't think I want it anymore . . .

High-Heeled Foot in the door said...

OMG! Jenny no words. Simply you make me laugh! Love ya!

urbansardines said...

hahahhaha. you made me snort water through my nose! Bad, bad Jenny! I gotta know the story on that last pic... is that Borat's sister?

my favorite and my best said...

the last pic i found on ffffound.
as for the rest of it i was just looking at the house and it kinda started coming to me.

Brandi said...

Sooo funny! She's actually in a donut shop!
By the way...I sell those lamps (the brass ones from your post the other day with the metal shade) in the silver version at the store I work at. They are made by Robert Abbey and we retail them for $399.95. You can probably google Robert Abbey for a store nearest you!

meohmyoh said...

OMG! Here I am, idly browsing in a slow moment at work and BAM! That last photo sure threw me for a loop! Hahahhaa yer friggin' high-larious

nkp said...

I'm stumped. It's rare that I'm rendered speechless. But there you have it. Speechless. ;0)

wyatts&fionasnana said...

I think I just wet my pants.....not only from this blog but also the comments! You are good! Someone needs to hire you soon!

Ms Smart said...

I was with ya till the doughnut lady started freaking with the coffee

THAT IS JUST WRONG!

Where the hell did that pic come from?
Not a family album, I hope. Actually that would be pretty cool to have a freak like that in the family - keep holidays lively. hahahahah

I don't know what's worse - the glasses? her half naked self? the shark colored he-man leotard? the jewelry?

What kinda store?
Dunkers
hahahahaha

you slay me

lucitebox said...

I think if I knew you, I'd have to have a spleenectomy from laughing so hard. You make my face hurt.
I like the monogram part (OMG, I just noticed "say it don't spray it..." hilarious!)
The recent comment from DAD being in the witness protection program gave me a little insight into your wacky mind. A family of funny!
Thanks, Jenny.
P.S. I'm still a little stunned by a "...so gay he makes my butt hurt."

MyLittleHappyPlace said...

Nice boobies!

The Townhouselady said...

can't breathe from laughing so hard!!

The Townhouselady said...

..and lady, what's up with having two tittie posts in a row?

LOL

SGM said...

Cou-Gar!

!!!!!!

This post made me realize that I think I've been wearing my swimsuit backwards.

Revival said...

just found my halloween costume! :)

chittychittybangkok said...

You would think I'd have learned by now but I SERIOUSLY have got to stop reading your blog from my classroom. Thank goodness the kiddies are at lunch and I have time to LMAO alone. Thanks for my Monday giggle!

A Life More Fabulous said...

Lol - hot outfit! Love the round 70s porno sofa too!

PutzFrau said...

I was reading this and showed the last picture to my husband as he was talking on the phone with his mother.

Good times.