i want you very badly

you are a sofa. a beautiful, new and very expensive sofa. two grand expensive. but i saw you today in the crate and barrel window and you were so perfect looking i had to come in to flirt a bit. i sat on you and could tell by your give that you enjoyed it too. i am afraid this picture does not do you justice. in person you looked less white and more natural. but your pinched edges gave you just the deconstructed look that a girl like me always dreamed of in a sofa. i love your thin arms and low proximity to the ground. you would look so good in my tiny living room. sigh.
heave. sweat. i could do sooo much with you...lay, eat, sleep, 'it', watch tv. farewell my (washable) slipcovered hot bitch! i won't give up on you though. i will not.