Wednesday, January 27, 2010

bullshit rash and cat piss and the farrelly brothers

it is with great apprehension and a fucking ginormous gulp of pride that i show you this shitparade. but the thing is i've got a GREAT audition tomorrow. a small but substantial part opposite owen wilson in the new farrelly brothers comedy called hall pass. so of course this bullshit rash won't go away. try to ignore my naked mole rat appearance and that i am slathered in an antibiotic cream that dries the shit out of my skin- but what the fuck is this shit?!?!?!?
went to the dermatologist and she said it was eczema (ahem ahembullshit) so she gave me steroid cream. didn't work. DUH!


then she gave me some sulfur cleansing pads and antibiotic cream and some nizoral, an antifungal shampoo for the skin and hair...

no fucking luck there.. now my skin is drier than a dead person's and i smell like rotten eggs.
and to top it all off a tom cat from the hood got into our crawlspace under the house took about 14 pisses and now our whole fucking house smells like cat piss.

so lets recap:
tomorrow big awesome important audition
right now leprosy
tonight and forever the smell of cat piss

i have googled everything. but when i stumbled upon a picture of an old man's asscrack covered in dried up scabies i said eff this..i need to reach out to my readers...
your job as a reader of this blog is to chime in and tell me what the fuck is wrong with my skin.
before you comment though make sure you have read this entire post b/c if one of you tells me to use the aforementioned prescribed medications i will know you didn't read. i am on to you, skimmers!!

82 comments:

Rachel said...

Awwwww..... (big hugs)

You look so pitiful, my dear!
I have no clues or ideas for you. The closest thing I've ever had was a rash that I would get after going out in the summer on the boat. Same area and everything (neck and cheeck) - but mine would clear up within a day or two of gentle cleansers, little or no make-up, and gentle gentle light moisturizer. So, I have no clue because I'm sure you've tried that.

I'd just slather on the pancake over that crap and go kick ass at the audition. You know Owen Wilson's going to have bad skin too (at least that's what I've heard).
You're going to be awesome!

Sorry about the cat pee. That truly sucks. At least he didn't chase a rat up into your wall where it died. That's actually worse. Waaaaaay worse.

Anonymous said...

cooties.

Anonymous said...

I had the same reaction after a facial five days before my wedding! My allergist gave me an oral steroid and told me to only take cold showers, no make-up or soap. cold compresses also help but may cause more dryness. See if your esthetician used synthetic collagen or anything with mango extract or papaya which are common allergens. So sorry and hope you feel better! Take it easy and be confident for your audition!!!!

charmaine said...

Looks like it is contact dermatitis. It is a form of allergy. Are you highly allergenic? Did you use anything new(think anything that came in contact with the affected area like facial soap/clothes - laundry soap, body wash etc.) before it happened? It happened once to my husband when i got a different scent of laundry soap(same brand). He was also given oral steroid. Hope it gets better soon!

Kristen said...

Cat piss is the worst!! Have you taking benadryl??

Faff Around said...

Take a Claritin or a Benadryl, although no Benadryl before the audition, it may delay the delivery of your lines, it really whacks some people out. Good luck. Allergy and Audition both.

Jane said...

Its not excema. It looks like some kind of allergy or heat rash. All the stuff you have taken, put on it probably made it worse. (sorry but its true). Here I use Lucas Paw Paw cream for every single kind of rash and it works really well but I see a commenter above says papaya is bad so maybe not such a great idea.

Anyway the whole point of makeup and lighting is to cover up the bad skin that many actors have so I wouldn't stress about it.

LauraJane said...

Have you tired steroid cream, sulfer pads, antibiotics or nizoral? haha I'm hilarious. That shit looks nothing like Eczema.

Seriously though, I used to get a similar rash when I was a kid. Generally it resulted from a change in shampoos/bath products/detergents/dryer sheets, even perfume (like that Babysoft or Exclamation! shit). I can't see whether it's on your chest, or just your neck, but if only in this area, I would think this is likely the source of your irritation. Have you tried Ponds cream? Just the plain stuff? Bc that is the stuff of miracles when I have irritated skin, and it's like, $12.

In the event it's not all resolved by tomorrow, I can not help but suggest the Smashbox primer. It smoothes everything out, and creates a smooth surface to apply makeup.

GL

Designerbee said...

I got something like this after trying the same brand of facial moisturizer that I used for years but the new version with spf. Benadryl and steroid cream worked but it took a couple days. Feel better soon!

GiGi said...

do you know anyone that can get you a sample of the La Mer cream? Just so you don't have to shell out $200 plus smackers.
The stuff works wonders....a lady I know had flipping shingles for Pete's Sake, and it reduced the redness, swelling, etc. Do a patch test though....I don't want you dropping the F-bomb on me.

Break your legs on that audition, sistah.

AppleTree said...

So cool about the audition!!! So sucks about your skin. I am actually shocked that you used all those Rxs though. I would do lavender essential oil. Or a similar calming oil like chamomile. I get mine from my chiropractor.

I agree with LauraJane: Smashbox is good. They have that greasy clear stuff you put on before the foundation and it gives it a smooth surface.

Duel Living said...

I just had shingles...and though your's looks somewhat different, I had it on my face. Is the rash only on one side of your body? You can try taking Valtrex (yes that is the Herpes med. but that's what helps shingles)...but I don't really no shit about rashes, so don't listen to me.
My neighbors cat has been in a turf war with my cats and his way of "talking shit" is to piss daily on our front steps, which are concrete and absorb his piss all the better. Sorry about that awful piss odor Mr. Pizza man...watch your step.
And goooooooood luck on your audition tomorrow. I know you'll rock the shit outta that shit. And wear a turtleneck.
xoxox,
Brandi

ginger said...

hmm, my skin is sensitive and when I get eczema it looks like that - typically a reaction to a change in shampoo, laundry soap or because I really needed/wanted to wear wool. The only think that ever worked for me was to limit laundry soap (and none with perfume), ensure that all cream I use is good for sensitive skins, etc etc. The same kind of advice as above.

You could just rinse it off, put something cool on it to eliminate the redness and just generally try not to irritate it?

Regardless, you'll look hawt for your addition and knock that shit outta the park. Good luck!

The Neo-Traditionalist said...

You poor thing! I have no freaking clue what that is or how to fix it so I'm just here for moral support (aka I'm useless...). I'll think happy thoughts, okay?
XX kate

Anonymous said...

TONIGHT use the steroid cream, as directed. Try to get two applications done before you go to bed.. I KNOW, but it's the best scatter-shot approach. It cures a wide variety of shit if you give it a chance.

TONIGHT take Benadryl, as directed. Try to get two doses in before you go to bed.

TOMORROW do nothing. (Unless you know someone with Rosacea -- you could use some MetroGel or Cream tomorrrow, but just skip it)

And just remember Cameron Diaz has terrible skin and she was launched in a movie like this. They don't care about this kind of thing. Easy to solve. Don't worry about it. Try. Worry about something else. GOOD LUCK!

The Blasphemous Fiendess said...

Oh I'm so excited for you. I'm sure you will be awesome and I agree with what everyone else is saying about actors who are know to have really bad skin. Yours is obviously a rash that will clear up not Brad Pitt acne scars. I have excema and it never looks like that. I also have allergies and sometimes experience a rash that looks like that. Sun does it to me sometimes. I agree with the people who have suggested Benadryl. It puts me to sleep so try taking it at bedtime.

The Blasphemous Fiendess said...

Oh yeah-the cat piss. Go to a veterinarian and get a big jug of an enzyme based odour killer. I think you usually mix it with water and spray it on the area that needs it.

Mrs. Limestone said...

The rash might be stress related. The same thing happened to me once. The minute the shit that was bothering me got resolved the rash went away.

Sorry about the cat piss. I have no sage advice. Its like skunk - impossible to get out, easy to identify.

Good luck with the audition - Im sure you will rock it.

Lolo said...

Adding to the allergy and/or stress reaction. Yes on the Benadryl tonight, there's also a benadryl cream. Good luck.

DoxaHome.com said...

Oh God, Jenny, I have no idea what it is! I am so sorry, even when you are having a shitty...er, pissy day, you still manage to make me laugh with your story telling. I wish you all the best at your audition tomorrow, let us know how it goes love.

xoxo,
Jaime

my favorite and my best said...

anon 5:26, totes cooties!!

and the benadryl...that will offer relief, but not a cure right?

i will use the steroid cream again. i just don't like using it b/c its umm....STEROID CREAM!

stress related...hmmm....i don't think so. possibly for others but not for me, not this time.

here's a thought, i had recently got new perfume (jo malone jasmine and mint) but once i noticed the bumps i stopped using immediately and then it still gradually got worse. that just doesn't make sense to me. i haven't been using it for weeks and the rash has gotten worse over the last few days.
but i think i am just going to give the drying stuff a rest and leave it alone for a while. let nature do it's thing. i will use the steroid cream again thought. god.

Anonymous said...

Holly said:

I'm so sorry - - about it all - - including the kitty piss. And damn if I have a clue how to deal with enormous amounts of kitty piss. But the rash, hmmmm, let me think.

Have you taken a Benadryl in case it is an allergic reaction? Was it something you ate? Maybe ibuprophen will help the inflammation . . .

Good luck with the audition.

MyLittleHappyPlace said...

Do you KNOW how shitty I feel for laughing out loud at your post? I'm certainly not laughing AT you, and am wracking my brain trying to figure out what's up with your epidermis.
I won't insult your intelligence by going through the whole 20 questions list New foods? New product? Nerves?

At this point (in lieu of tomorrow's audition), I would just try to sooooooothe it - maybe a paste made with aveeno oatmeal bath?

luvs,
ag

P.S. - I know, I know....I left a comment a few posts back and then felt like a giant turd b/c you addressed what I said/asked in your post. No skimmer am I, but half my brain is being held captive by hormones. However, I don't always read all the previous comments, so if this is redundant - kiss it. 'kay? ;)

court. said...

excema is what the derm says when the dont know wtf is going on. it's the weather man equivalent of saying 'it's going to be partly cloudy/partly sunny.' go fuck yourself.

dont fuck with it. dont put anything on it nad dont touch it. doctor's orders.

Petunia Face said...

Oh dear heart--it won't work in time for your audition, but try Wonderbar:
http://wonderbarusa.com/
It takes a few weeks but my skin was a mess of mysterious dry skin rashy things and this cleared it up for good.

Good luck on your audition tomorrow! (Wear a turtleneck?)

gatherings home said...

I agree with the others who say this does not look like eczema. Generally, eczema doesn't have bumps like that. I have it and it is a dry, extremely itchy patch that will sometimes look scaly. I also have never heard of applying sulfer, further drying it out. Sounds like it hurts though. I would stick with the cream and maybe the oatmeal bath and get a good nights rest (benedryl will help with that).

The cat piss.....ugh. The only thing that will get the smell out and keep the cat from returning is the spray stuff you can get at the pet store and poison (i kid.)

Break a leg tomorrow girl! You can do it....even if you feel like your neck looks like a lizard. You gots what it takes!

boops said...

oh boy! i have no idea what it is and am hesitant to suggest anything for fear of making things worse. but for your audition, maybe you can cover it up with clothing and make up, and deal with the skin issues after you get the part! hey, showing up and being someone who can roll with the punches may work in your favor (ok, that may be stretching it but i'm trying to be supportive)

break a leg. i'll have all my digits crossed for you.

High Maintenance Nurse said...

I'm sorry if I repeat something already mentioned! Not eczema. It maybe from stress, it may not:) Have you changed anything in your routine like new shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, blah blah blah? I'm sure you've thought of this already. Aveeno oatmeal bath/soak is absolutely awesome, very soothing.

Love your posts, hilarious.
Good luck tomorrow!

sarah said...

My two guesses would be shingles or the black lung. Either one totally sucks.

Anonymous said...

I'm the TONIGHT anon poster.

Benadryl can clear it up. It probably won't, but it could. It has Diphenhydramine hydrochloride in it, the same stuff that is in an epi pen. Most on-the-ball pediatricians will tell new parents to keep it in their medicine cabinet, bcs if you call me in the middle of the night with a kid with an allergic reaction, I'll say dose them with Benadryl and then head off to the ER. It often can clear allergic reactions, hives up right away. It's worth a shot. If you're buying it, get the regular dye-free kind. Don't get the kind that DOESN"T cause drowsiness; it can do just the opposite and freak you out.

GL. Try the cream and the benadryl tonight and then just let it go. You did your best. Focus on your clothes or your shoes or whatever nonsense you'd normally freak out about.

DCM said...

Get to a drugstore and buy yourself a jar of Eucerin Redness Redness Relief Night Cream for about $14.00 - that shit is the bomb!

Good luck on your audition. A friend of mine played a minor role in the Farrelly brothers movie Fever Pitch - she was a member of Jimmy Fallon's "summer family" at Fenway Park...

bluehydrangea said...

So damn sorry!! You haven't used any perfume that may be fake have you? Just saw a story about it on GMA and the knock offs make people break out in a rash and your neck and chest are usually where you spray perfume...Whatever happens good luck on the addition!

A Perfect Gray said...

Love you. Hate your rash. Don't know what to do about it. But for a great laugh, check out Decorno's new post. AWESOME and right up your alley. Hope it makes you feel better. Good luck on the audition.

nkp said...

Oh man, Jenny, I'm so sorry. That really sucks under any circumstances, but especially these. Definitely not eczema, but you already knew that. With three boys, I've seen a lot of rashes and that looks like an allergic reaction to me. I would say Benadryl tonight and perhaps try Cetaphil. My youngest has super sensitive skin and it works wonders for him. I use it every night after his bath and his eczema has been non-existent the last two winters. It's really soothing.

I wish you the best of luck tomorrow. They would be STOOPID not to pick you. Can't wait to see you on the big screen!!!!!

Anna said...

Shit..that sux
Im not going to make my own diagnosis of what I think it may be..or caused it..
Ive only ever experience that kind of a rash when I stressed and have been bawling my eyes out..and...when my husband tried a new vitamin..the next day his broke out in the same kind of rash..but all over his back , arms etc

All I would say is...its your body's way or rejecting or flushing out any impurities..be it a product, food, etc that you have tried...so I would flush flush flush out your system..LOADS of water..chamomile tea..keep the skin cool and PRAY Darling...Im sure that by the morning it would have improved...otherwise...screw it..and give it all you've got tomorrow..

GOOD LUCK!!!

P.S TOTALLY empathise with the cat piss...our cat peeves me off on a daily basis because she is so skanky sometimes and thinks she rules the roost!

Anonymous said...

I know nothing about your skin problem, but cat piss - that I know!

Get Nature's Miracle for Cats(PetSmart or PetCo should have it, yes it's expensive)and spray that anywhere the cat has pissed. Really saturate the area. Sometimes it takes more than one application, and sometimes the smell seems to get worse at first. But, I swear it works eventually. It saved my brand new - not yet paid for- couch. I would also say it saved the cat who pissed on said couch because I swore I would kill her if I couldn't get the stink out.

Good luck with the cooties, the cat piss and the audition!

Kitty said...

break a leg tomorrow. i don't know what your rash is, but ten bucks says it was the perfume. perfumes are loaded with shite that could give you a rash (i blog about it all the time on organic orgy), as could detergents and the sizing chems they use in new clothes. if it were shingles it would hurt like a bitch and you'd be crying from pain for shizzle. hope you feel better. peace, kitty

Carrie said...

That's exactly how my neck looked one winter when I developed a sudden allergic reaction to anything containing peroxide! Just out of the blue! If I used a cleanser with peroxide and then wore wool or a necklace, my chin and neck would puff up in a blotchy hot rash. The more crap I put on it, the worse it got. Keep it clean, give it air and take some Benadryl! Good luck!

Tracy said...

I had a rash exactly like that except it covered my entire body. My husband of 23 years went out of town without me for the first time, and I woke up in the morning covered. My dermatologist knew what it was (I've forgotten). He said it would last 24-48 hours then go away as quickly as it came. That is exactly what happened. It is most likely stress related and will go away after your audition. Don't let it bother you just go out there and do your best! Good Luck!

Kelly said...

I think that's eczema brought on by allergies. Think about what you ate the day it started and try not to eat it again just in case.

I get reactions like that when I eat white bread and it's definitely eczema.

Topical steroid cream is the only thing that makes it go away.

meg said...

totally had a rash that looked similar on my arms this summer while at the beach - think i was allergic to either the laundry detergent at the rental house or a new sunscreen i used. anyway, benadryl for shiz. it is for relief but can also help calm down an allergic reaction if it is a reaction. plus you'll get a good nights sleep. also, my dad made a mix of one part old school noxema cold cream and one part hydrocortisone cream to apply topically. he is a pharmacist. holy shit it worked like a charm. put it on thick like a paste. and let it soak in.

happy hunting. and break a leg tomorrow!

Richie Designs said...

you know I had something similar, not as bad but they also prescribed antibiotic cream, sulfur paste blah blah blah...none of it worked

know what did?

I went to a facialist who was also a fan of chinese medicine told me to try oregano oil [i'm not kidding] it's horrible tasting but three drops under your tongue with a swig of water and it's not so bad. 2x a day until it clears.

it's all gone. never to be seen again. plus it helps stop colds and flu too. brilliant

Meredith said...

This is not going to clear your rash up before your audition, but I would strongly recommend acupuncture. I am in graduate school studying acupuncture, and because there are a myriad of miscellaneous illness (such as random rashes) that my friends and coworkers have come down with and consult with me on after western medicine has failed them miserably (ahem, steroid cream), I have sent them all to the acupuncture clinic at my school and there has been nothing but complete success with treatment (and rashes are high among these!). Acupuncture picks up where western medicine leaves off, and I think you will be extremely pleased with the results if you can find an acupuncturist in your area! good luck!

Julia said...

I agree that it looks like an allergy - but also try cycling through products that you've been using for awhile too...sometimes your body can develop an allergy seemingly out of nowhere. I've gotten rashes like that from products I've been using for years, it's really weird. I second Cetaphil, it is really easy on sensitive skin. Neosporin might help the rash go away a bit too.

LindsB said...

I dont mean to laugh at your pain but when you said cat piss under the house, I lost it!

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, while i have no solutions I hope it goes away over night and you wake up just as beautiful as ever ;)

susan said so said...

yikes, that sucks! no advice that you haven't already heard, but loads of best wishes for leg-breaking ass kicking tomorrow!

xox,
Susan

Devon said...

Kick ass tomorrow.

As for the rash, steroid cream is good for helping the itch, but it is my understanding that it doesn't cure. Ask for Mupirocin 2% ointment from your doc. It's supposed to cure if you have bacteria going on.

I'm not a doc, but I opine because I am sitting here staring at my 3-month old--who has the same crappy rash all over his face.

my favorite and my best said...

meg..oregano oil. easy enough, i will try it thanks.

meredith- i told supermike the other day that i wanted to go back and do accupuncture again. do u have a name for me in atlanta?

everybody...it could be gluten. getting it checked out next week.

great tips one and all..keep em coming.
you all are awesome.

marcel & me said...

I was gonna say perhaps a wheat allergy! I've had a similar reaction and it could be just about anything that you use commonly particularly laundry detergent so you might want to rinse your pillow cases. I second the suggestion for oil of oregano, drink water like crazy and try aloe vera gel - not the green crap, but get the real stuff from a health food store. Also avoid anything with SPF and stay out of the sun. Also generally your skin heals itself better when it is hydrated so drying creams are not going to speed up the rate at which this goes away. Best of luck!!

jennifer said...

ouch, so sorry!
good luck at your audition!

lovely said...

ok--perhaps it is excema. Keep away from anything with Annatto color. It's in foods such as puddings, ice cream etc. Look out for it. It is suppose to flare up the excema. Not good.

marcel & me said...

Speaking of moisturizer, while you're at the health food store getting your oil of oregano (get the least diluted kind) and your aloe vera gel, get a plant-only moisturizer like shea butter, avoid anything with chemicals - you could be reacting to a combination of things. A friend of mine once changed her shampoo while taking penicillin and all her hair fell out - no lie. The rash that I had which was similar took about a week to completely go away.

And even though White Jasmine & Mint is my absolute fav Jo Malone I would avoid that baby for a while. But I gave up wheat and chemicals in most beauty products and I spray away just fine now.

Julie said...

1. make a cup of chamomile tea, and then dip cotton pads in it, and pat it on the rash. this brings down swelling
2. once i had hives for THREE DAYS, for no reason, and Benadryl took it all away.
3. Moisturizing it might make it itch more, so I'd stay away from heavy creams.
4. aloe vera, but the pure stuff from the health store, not the bright blue or green goop for sunburns.

hope this helps!!

good luck!

Nancy E. J. said...

I totally feel you right now. I just saw the doctor twice about a rAsh like yours...but mine is literally ALL over my body. Somehow I got some kind of cold virus and this is how my body decided to react to it. I started using this crazy smelling soap, Grandpa's Pine Bar Soap and it's freaking working.

Nancy E. J. said...

I meant pine tar...crazy, I know.

wyatts&fionasnana said...

Take a bath in baking soda then use lotion with lavender oil in it and do what you do best ~ kick ass MFAMB!

Visual Vamp said...

Aw Jenny.
Maybe it's the cat pee.
All this blog love should make you feel better.
Try some Gold Bond powder just to see if it will make it feel better.
Wrap a huge ass fab scarf around your pretty neck and rock the audition.
Start eating meat again ha ha. You're too fucking healthy.
Seriously, you know I love you and if anybody gives you a hard time at the audition I will kick some ass.
xo xo

decorating fabric said...

Oh! That’s bummer! This is a serious skin condition. You really need to see a doctor.

Boracay hotel said...

That looks awful! What could be worse?

Celtic Rose said...

I'm agreeing with most others. I get EXACTLY the same reaction to any change in certain products. Haven't narrowed it down to any specific ingredient though, sorry. Can't go near certain washing detergents, cleansers, etc. Even so called 'natural' brands. It was at its worst after having babies, but you can cross off that one. A good mineral foundation could help to mask it. Act your ass off at the audition and they won't care - break a leg! Love the bro's.

bran said...

my man also has this elusive 'excema', that's only made worse by all the rx. I was researching some of his other skin problems, and read about tea tree oil.

Got some "Derma E tea tree and antiseptic cream" for his yeast (uncircumcised, i feel i can share this with you since your birth post) problems. It worked. Then we tried it on his face. Cleared that shit up too. It's a bit tingly, especially if you use it on your nether regions, but i swear by it.

Will NOT dry you out. I've been using it as a daily face moisturizer for two years now, because the antibacterial properties don't make me break out. In winter i use it full strength, in summer i dip two fingers in water, then mix with one dab of cream to make my own light weight version.

It's more expensive but you can get it quick from whole foods, in ours it's one aisle over from the soaps.
http://www.amazon.com/Tea-Tree-Antiseptic-Creme/dp/B00016WRWW/ref=pd_sbs_hpc_1

Good luck, break a leg!

and vinegar cancels out cat piss

Maureen said...

definetly keep us posted on that rash- my 22 yr old daughter has the same thing and nothing the dermatologist gives her works-excema is what they're saying. You poor thing-good luck with your audition!

goodniteirene said...

didn't read the rest of the comments so if someone already recommended this sorry to repeat.
i fucking feel your pain sister. i am currently dealing with "meth face" due to free facial gone bad.
in my struggling actress days my ucla derma swore on plain, dial soap to clear up all things ugly. yes, it dries the shit up out of your face, but it kills pretty much everything with a plasma wall.
wear your hair down.
xo, katie

preppyplayer said...

Maybe you're allergic to... cat piss?

All kidding aside, give the antibiotic a bit more time. Drink plenty of water to flush whatever is in your system and think good thoughts.
break a leg :)

Simone From Elizabeth City said...

First off, break a leg in your audition.

Second, in addition to the Benadryl taken before you go to bed, you might try taking a warm bath with a couple of tablespoons of clorine bleach added. I know it sounds completely insane but a friend of mine who suffers from dermatitis/rash flair-ups occasionally was advised to do this by her dermatologist and it works to eliminate the swelling and redness. She and her doc reside in London so thought I'd pass along this remedy from across the pond.

my favorite and my best said...

thank you everyone soooo much!!
i have written every one of your suggestions down and i intend to try them all until we have a winner. i will report back as soon as we do...fingers crossed, hope hope and all that.

Kindle Marie said...

Damn girl,

That sucks...well i see you have a ton of suggestions and I got bored after reading about five of them so..Im gonna put my two cents in.

My son had eczema all over his legs looked just like your neck. doc told me simply put on Zinc Oxide(white cream smells like zinc and looks like paste, and don't rub it all the way in let it sit) and vaseline(put right on top of it) before bedtime. Since it is the neck and you dont seem to do shit but blog all day...lmao. I would do it in the morning.

You may have to look for it, but Walgreens always has it. Doesn't matter what the % is I think it is like 1 or 2% I forget. His eczema cleared up in about a week.

Now for the audition, go get em girl (that is half cracked, because I will miss you if you do get it, but you can't be entertaining us on the internet forever). Regardless, I send awesomeness vibes your way chick! Owen Wilson...nice!

For that cat...???? I better not say anything or PETA will be after me...xo

Alana said...

I have seen this exact rash on my sister. I think it's an overtaking of yeast in your body. It looks identical. Take a fancy probiotic... the $30 kind that is in the refrigerator at health food and vitamin stores.

good luck with your audition. you are so funny, it's just a matter of time before you hit it big!

bummer on the cat piss.

Lovely Little Nest said...

Owen Wilson?!?!?
I would get myself to that audition if I had freaking Leprosy!!
So sorry about the rash or whatever it is! Hope it clears up in time!
If not...you still get to meet Owen Wilson!!

The Townhouselady said...

jenny- This doesn't looks like the eczema my sister suffereed from all through her childhood.

It may boil down to a food allergy. Make an appt. with an allergist and have them do the pick test on your arm (it's different from the pick test Mike will try to give you). I'd also make sure you tell them about your diet.

I suffer from some pretty massive food allergies some that can just give me rashes. Others that scale up to full anaphylactic shock.

I agree with the try Benedryl crowd but...I say try the children's liquid Benedryl. It goes into my system much fast than the adult pills do. You just need to swig a whole crapload though (a whole crapload is not a scientific measure)- check the label and try to bring it up to the same dosage you'd get if taking the adult version). It won't kill yoiu if you take too much.

Also, steroid creams being well, *steroid* cremes are not the way you usually want to go but they do work in most instances.

Cat piss? UGH...Check at Petsmart they sell big gallon jugs of the enzyme stuff (millions diff. brands) and that's get rid of it. You just have to get under the crawl spay to be able to spray it. I'd also make sure Mr. Pissnuts is gone and seal that shit back up. You could always capture him in one of the humane traps and get him fixed though a local TNR (trap, neuter, release) place and then release his nutless self back into the wilds. Then you know he won't be marking anything anymore (including stray females).

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I think it's tinea versicolor. I had it a few years ago. I thought it was eczema too but it's not. It itches like crazy... red dots...

It's a yeast infection on the skin. You treat it either with two doses of ketoconazole fungicide pill and then making yourself sweat the meds out so the medicine comes in contact with the yeast buggers OR you can slather yourself in Selsun Blue or a VERY STRONG dandruff shampoo for a few hours.

I am fairly certain this is what you have. Both approaches work. It will recur -- mine did once a year or so -- but Selsun keeps it in check.

Google "tinea versicolor.'

Anonymous said...

Hey, so sorry about the rash. In the middle of my divorce, I got what the dermatologist called a "stress-induced autoimmune rash" on my nostrils and eyelids. Pretty. Similar to yours. She gave me Cloderm which worked like a charm. Hang in there and good luck.

skinnythighs said...

I fed my baby a few bites of banana the other day and his entire body looks like this. The doctor said it's a banana/latex allergy and said to give him zyrtec. He still looks awful, although now it's drying out. So sorry about your audition.

ashley morgan said...

I had an allergy to a shitty organic shampoo, and it looked exactly like that, also on my neck and jaw. I didn't do anything but wait it out, and it took about 5 days to go away. I didn't have an audition though :( Sorry lady.

gatherings home said...

Damn girl.....who woulda thought a bullshit rash, cat piss and the farrelly bros would get this many comments??? You rock! Hugs :)

Kara said...

I have nothing to add other than my sympathy. and Break a leg!!

Sarah B. said...

Crap!!! Why does this kind of b.s. always happen before a big party/audition/event? Well, I will add to the chorus saying that it seems like an allergy thing. If you haven't yet, I'd try taking a Benadryl and see how that does--knowing that it will probably make you super drowsy. Does it itch? I got a shot of cortisone for a rash one time and the rash did go away, but not immediately, so it's hard to say whether the cortisone helped or if the rash just went away.

If it's still bad tomorrow, just cover that shit with make-up, wear your hair down, etc. And like Emily RR said to me when I had a huge zit on my nose before the LKS premiere, DON'T TALK ABOUT THE RASH!!! Don't go into the audition and say, I'm sorry, my skin looks like shit, etc. Really try and put it out of your mind so that it doesn't affect your confidence.

You can do it!!! Kick some ass!!!!!

Design Darling said...

first of all, congratulations on your audition! i hope one day soon we'll be seeing some pictures a la your commercial as wendy. i don't have any recommendations for your poor skin but it sounds like your readers have really stepped up to the task. the only thing i'll say is you have a sense of humor that'll get you through anything life throws at you. i just about died at your "recap" — it's that sense of humor that will see you through every rash and that will nail you that part opposite owen wilson! best of luck.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what the fuck that rash is. But I do know that red is the opposite of green on the color wheel. So you should get your ass to CVS and buy some green eyeshadow. Mix it with your foundation so that your foundation is tinted green. Then tomorrow put a touch of the green tinted foundation on each red spot. Then cover with non tinted foundation. It will cover up the redness entirely. I think that may be the best you can do.

Dagny @ Beautiful Living said...

Oh, that sucks!! Hope the audition went amazing and that no one noticed it!! LOVE the farelly brothers!!

urbansardines said...

How did the audition go? I've been wondering and hoping you got it! Fingers crossed!

wolf said...

ketoconazole cream works for me but if I stop using it reappears.

let me know what works for you.

on cat pee what about fabreeze?